10 miles - check! I did it. I ran 10 miles! It was an amazing feeling as I completed each mile, not thinking about how many were left, but where would I be if I were on a training run? Or how far I've come not only physically but mentally too. Or admiring those that were out there with me. And of course, the bling. The bling that was waiting for me at the end. The shiny piece of metal that would say to the world - I just ran. I just ran far enough that they gave me this! I've done a number of 5k and 8k races, even a few sprint triathlons. But this is my first piece of bling, and I am proud.
It was also very cool to run during Memorial Day Weekend, finish inside Soldier Field, and hear some touching stories about our men and women in uniform during the opening ceremonies. We are so blessed to live in a country where we are free to run the streets, free to live where we want, eat where we want, work where we want, and free to say what we want to say. For this, I am thankful.
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Knowing that I have come from barely being able to finish 5 miles to running 10 and feeling great gives me the experience of knowing that I can work toward something and achieve it. I now need to harness that confidence and pride into my professional life. Deciding to change careers and considering going back to school is scary. Totally scary. But nothing worth having is easy. I am working on keeping my eye on the bling at the end to help me through. Thanks to some special people in my life who remind me of this. It might be tough now, but there is bling at the end and if I want it bad enough, I can keep pushing when it hurts, when it gets uncomfortable, or when I want to stop. And for this reminder, I am also thankful.
Workin' for the bling!
It's time to be thankful for my legs instead of always wishing they were longer or thinner or more toned or tan! My legs have done amazing things for me the past few months. They have made me a runner! Did I ever think that when I started this blog that I would become a runner? Nope. Not even a little bit. I thought that was Dan's thing, not mine. Every stride, every mile, it was earned in a huge way. It was so much effort, it was so hard, my heart rate was high, it didn't feel right. Now that I have learned a new form, I ran the furthest I've ever run last week, 8 miles! And it felt good.
In the pursuit of bling, (since I haven't received a medal for any 5k or 8ks), a friend of mine recently convinced me to take on the Soldier Field 10 Mile race this weekend. Not only do you earn a finisher's medal, but also a stadium blanket and of course a shirt for signing up. Woot, woot! Score! So as I was looking into the salon mirror while getting my hair done last week, I noticed my legs. I thought that I really still need to work on toning them, lose more weight, get a tan, etc. But then I started thinking, wait a second. Don't be so hard on them!
Then I saw this, which summed up my thoughts exactly as I decided to take it easy on my legs.
I think I'll print this out and next time I start thinking mean things about my legs, I'll read this. Thanks legs, I appreciate ya!
Soul searching. Reflection. Time. All of these are gifts. I believe very strongly that everything happens for a reason, and I feel I'm on the brink of discovering why I was laid off from my most recent job. Unhappy, uninspired, unengaged. This is not how I want to live my life. I was let go from a profitable position, but the profit was in my bank account, not in my soul, heart or mind. It feels as if the fog is lifting and I'm about to realize why this happened to me, (for the second time), and why it's important I take this time to search my soul and reflect on my life so far and what I want for my life going forward.
I have realized I have a true interest and developing passion for a healthy lifestyle. When thinking about what I'm passionate about, it's hard for me to think of anything beyond loving my family and friends. Enjoying the life I have while I have it, and letting those I love know it. Then I thought back to the last three months that I haven't had a job. I've taken up running and I've made an effort to learn and incorporate more healthy foods into my and my husband's diets and I am thrilled to talk to anyone about it and how they aim to live healthier.
This lead me to realize that perhaps I should look into a career as a health coach or registered dietician or nutritionist. A career that aligns with how I want to live my life, how I want to teach my future children to live, and how I would love to help others do the same.
So now I'm sorting out education options and which jobs are available for which credentials. But when I wake up in the morning and think about this as my new career, I'm excited. My belly fills with anticipation and could it be? Passion? Passion for bettering my own life, that of my loved ones, and the lives of complete strangers? What is better then that? Yes, please.
I used to really dislike the quiet. So I'd turn on the tv or some music to keep from being completely alone with my thoughts. This new me emerging enjoys a quiet morning with no music, no tv, and just the sounds of the city and the construction happening on the roof ringing through my apartment. We are now 12 weeks into my unemployment. I've learned before, but know more then ever why patience is considered a virtue. Waiting to hear from a potential employer should be considered a mild form of torture, but alas, we all have to do it multiple times in our lives whether it's waiting for a professional opportunity or waiting for that little bundle of joy to arrive who will soon become the boss in your house.
I realize watching tv is a form of relaxation for me. But what I also realize is it doesn't allow me to think about me. It gives me something to laugh about or cry about or judge or just enjoy, but it doesn't help me grow. It doesn't challenge me to be who I am or give me an opportunity to ask myself questions like, "what do I want"? Granted, there is some quality television out there that may provide these opportunities, but I'm guessing the shows I used to watch, and still do when I just need a break, aren't intended for that. So now I find time to give myself a chance to choose who I am and work toward who I'm going to be when the tv is off, there's no music in the background, and I'm left alone with my thoughts and wishes. Today I wanted to write. It's funny because the job I'm currently waiting to hear about is very heavy in writing but they aren't sure of my ability since I don't have any professional writing experience. But I just assure them, I do enjoy it and would relish in the chance to do it as a part of my job.
As difficult as not knowing what's going to happen and when I'm going to land my next job is, I am so thankful for the time I've been given to truly think about and start becoming the person I've wanted to be for a long time but was too stressed or too focused on others to commit to. I believe more than anything that everything happens for a reason, and understand at this point that this time was given to me to start spreading my wings and realizing what it is that brings me joy. I'm still figuring it out but have definitely made progress.
Time to go for a run. Because I want to and I'm excited and committed to training for a half marathon. Other items on the agenda today include finalizing plans for the Europe trip we've been waiting for 10 years to take, plan a menu for appetizers for a birthday celebration tomorrow, and keep cleaning in preparation for friends to come over.
Enjoy the quiet.
Being home, spending a lot of time alone, noticing dust bunnies and spider webs that I was too busy to see before... I'm finding a way to actually enjoy it. I find I'm slowly but surely becoming more of the person I want to be. Eating my veggies, (or drinking them), setting a goal and working toward it, (a half marathon!), turning off the tv and reading, organizing, cooking, or meeting friends for lunch. I feel unusually calm and incredibly thankful. Thankful to have the chance to become more of who I want to be. Thankful for friends and family for their unconditional support. Thankful for a wonderful husband who is always there when I need him. Thankful to be alive and (finally) feel like I'm thriving.
The run clinic I previously posted about changed me from a wanna-be runner to a runner! It's amazing. I run now and I feel more comfortable, I feel calmer since my heart rate is within a normal range and not too high, and I feel strong for being able to run without stopping up to 5 miles! So I signed up for a half marathon and I feel completely committed and excited about it. Week 1 of training is down, 15 more to go!
Cheers to health!
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| Juicing |
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| Running on the lake |
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Today I'm thankful for:
* the feet in my shoes
* the run clinic that gave me tips that helped me enjoy a 3 mile run today
* friends that know me and know how to help me
As I ran today and enjoyed it more then I have in a long time, I'm reminded that life really is just one step at a time. Tomorrow will be four weeks since I lost my job. A job search is quite involved. It really is about who you know. It's discouraging, it's exciting, it's a series of steps and being in the right place at the right time and talking to the right people. So I'll continue to put one foot in front of the other as I lay the foundation to getting my next job. The feelings I've had the last four weeks have been as volatile as Nicki Minaj's wardrobe, and the next four weeks will probably be the same. But what matters is that each day I put one foot in front of the other, just like running. I wonder where my steps will take me tomorrow...
As we find our new normal, (I say we and mostly mean I), our weekends feel different since I know it's time spent with my partner in crime and when Monday morning comes, he'll go to work and I'll be left to keep working to figure out what's next for me.
Knowing that, and as much as I want to soak up every moment of companionship the weekend affords me, I find myself inspired to take this opportunity to make shifts toward being more of the person I want to be. I want to build confidence as I further define me, live healthier and enjoy life and the beauty it has to offer more. Dan has his crazy to attend to with a long training run this weekend, taking time to nourish his crazy, so it's time for me to open my eyes to the world outside of my previous routine and look at each day as an opportunity to grow and explore who I want to be in this next chapter of my life.
"Get involved!" These words continue to ring through my head thanks to my 6th grade teacher who may never know the impact he's had on my life. "Get involved!" aka, "turn off Bravo, get off the couch, get dressed and get out there! Life is waiting for you!" When I signed my name on the sheet yesterday to participate in a running clinic this morning, taking one of only 15 spots, I wasn't sure if I would actually get up and go. There would surely be strangers there and what if I embarrass myself? My pj's are so comfortable on a Sunday morning....
I have been attempting to begin a love affair with running for the past 5 years, but we just can't seem to find the spark. Alas, when something came up that I almost said I would skip the clinic for, I remembered my efforts to be more of the person I want to be. That includes doing things because I want to and putting myself first sometimes. I didn't offer to skip the clinic as the old me would have most certainly done. I went and so glad I did. I learned and it made me want to go try out my new found knowledge about running form to see if I wouldn't be able to woo my body into giving running another chance at some affection.
Today I say thank you:
Thanks Mr. O for searing those words into my mind. They help me do things that are outside of my comfort zone and have helped me in the past to try new things and find new friends. I will keep repeating these words as I venture into my tomorrows. Thank you.
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