Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life. 

This song has never meant more to me as it does now. This was our high school song when I graduated. At 17, I didn't really understand the weight of these words. The first walls of my Lego castle have gone up. We have come to a few conclusions about our future.

This meandering river that is life is taking a turn, one we did not expect or anticipate to happen this year. We are going back to my home. We have decided to close down the party in Chicago this fall and move back to Denver to work towards our new goals. Turning 30 for both of us has changed our priorities. We both realize that we want to settle down. We want a house, a family, a dog, and for me, a new career. 

We came to Chicago to play. We played. We played and laughed. Hard. It has been an amazing time, and we will have been here just over three years when we leave. I feel so grateful for the experience we've had. It will always be a time in our life I look back on with a smile and joy in my heart.

With our new priorities in place, we both realize it's time to move on. It's time to enjoy and relish in the last smooth ride down the river path we're on and in a few weeks, get ready to flow with the changed course. It feels good to keep moving forward, but bittersweet to bring this fabulous chapter to a close. I owe Chicago and the friends we've made here a great deal of thanks. I'm planning a love letter to Chicago. Our friends will get theirs too.


Now more then ever it's important I live in the now. We have lots of plans to make, packing, sorting, and the fun task of moving and a 14 hour drive. But all of that will come. It's not here yet. So I want to file away the to do list and focus on being fully present in what's going on now. I love Chicago and will be sad to leave. But I'm not leaving yet - so excuse me while I relish!

Legos

I have this mental image in my mind of a pile of legos strewn across the floor, all the pieces there, but it's up to me to put them together. Arrange them in a way that makes sense and build something. I feel I've only identified that big green base and the other pieces, in a variety of shapes and colors await being chosen before anyone else can really make sense of what I see built in my head.

I've always been a person that likens things I don't understand to the things I do. And right now I can't identify all of the pieces and what they represent in rebuilding my professional life, but I know the pieces are there and it's going to take time, information, and support to decide just when to use each one and whether it's part of an individual piece or one that connects two things together. Just like building a castle out of Legos, you start with the base and sort through the loose pieces until you identify just the right one and push it into place.

I'm impatient. I want the castle built as soon as possible. But I know that it will take time. Maybe only one or two pieces will be placed a week if I'm lucky and that's hard. So I'm working on the patient part, the one that silences the "what ifs" or "I can'ts" and chooses happy in the meantime. Happy to feel excited and motivated to make this change. Happy to have the support of the most important people in my life. Happy to be taking care of me and making strides to be the best I can be both mentally and physically. I'm choosing happy even though there are unknowns and pieces that I know I won't be able to use for awhile. And as this blueprint of the next chapter of my life unfolds...

I choose happy.